“Are there any decent men out there?!” – No. There are well over 7 billion people in the world none of which are good enough for you, you perfect twat.
If you are one of those people that say: “All women are this”, or “All men are that”, then I’m sorry to say it but you, my darling are part of the problem. In fact there’s a good to fair chance that you possess many of the traits that you are trying to define everyone else with.
But don’t panic! This isn’t an attack, consider it more of a wake-up call. Just because you’re likely a bit of a bell-end it doesn’t mean that you are destined to be alone, it simply means that if you are to find a suitable partner you first have to start by taking a long and hard look at yourself before you can assume that the fault lies with everybody else.
And don’t get me wrong, I’ve been there myself! When looking back at previous relationships I always used to pick the other person apart, highlighting their faults and all of the things they did that pissed me off; when the reality was that I was just as bad as them and in some cases even fucking worse! It was a self-defence mechanism I relied on so that I didn’t have to face the fact that I’m not perfect either.
But that doesn’t mean that I am undesirable or that I’ll be unable to find the perfect partner to share my life with. What it means is that if I learn from my mistakes, recognise the traits that I found undesirable in others and acknowledge my many faults then I’ll have a greater chance of engaging the right people and building a stronger relationship the next time around.
But who knows? Perhaps you’ve had a really shitty run at things and you’ve genuinely gone into every single relationship with everything you had. You were kind, courteous, selfless, patient and empathetic and yet still you were treated like utter shit…and while that really sucks for you, you’re clearly choosing the wrong people! Nobody can force you into a relationship, but you can certainly rush into one. Stop being afraid of being alone! It’s better to be on your own than instead being with someone that looks straight through you.
First of all you need to learn to love yourself. And believe me, if you think that you already do and yet continue to subject yourself to the wrong people then you really do not love yourself at all. – “We accept the love we think we deserve”.
And many people confuse self-love with arrogance which could not be further from the truth. To love yourself is to embrace your flaws and be thankful for the decent qualities that you possess. To be arrogant is to ignore your flaws entirely and believe that you’re on a different playing field to all those around you – know the difference.
There are an unthinkable number of amazing people out there who could be the perfect fit for you, you just have to look a little harder to spot them. And that is often the problem…if you’re ignorant enough to say: “All men are this”, or “All women are that”, then you’re more than likely entering every relationship solely based on the physical appearance and social status of the other person.
And yes I understand that it is vastly important to find your partner sexually attractive, however if you write a person off instantaneously because they don’t fit this particular aesthetic ‘type’ that you have reserved for yourself then you’re significantly reducing your chances of finding the right person for you.
Have you ever had a conversation with somebody who you misjudged prior to talking to them? And then felt a little bad inside because your first thoughts were something along the lines of: “Oh great, this person’s clearly going to be a cunt.”
It’s happened to all of us at one point or another because we are conditioned to judge a person by their appearance. In fact, it has happened to me before where somebody actually apologised to me because their first thoughts were somewhat unsavoury – all they saw was a big, bearded, British skinhead and assumed the worst. Then after a few moments of conversation they learned that they could not have been further from the truth.
Well, the same applies to love. The truth is that nobody has a ‘type’, only a certain aesthetic look that they desire based on what they have been conditioned to find physically attractive, and that’s fine – if you’re lucky enough to find somebody that fits that description AND happens to be intellectually, spiritually and emotionally compatible with you at the same time.
Everyone’s breath smells of shit in the morning and as much as we’d all love to find the perfect person you’d have to be a fucking moron to believe that if in the event such a person existed that they would want to be with you. While you may prefer men with a full head of hair, perfect abs, a gorgeous smile, a wonderfully chizzled, symmetrical face and an eight inch penis – I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news but you may have to settle for six.
And I am not saying that you have to consider every cock-eyed mong and his dog, all I am saying is that you have to adjust your priorities a little if you are to increase your chances at finding somebody that isn’t going to ultimately make you feel like shit, thus rendering you one of those pitiful, bitter tossers that constantly updates their status with the likes of “Men are scum”, or “Why are women such sluts?”
If you’ve said something like this at some stage don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed, seriously, because you’ll be wasting your time. I’ve expressed a similar attitude before and it is a perfectly natural thing to feel at times, especially when you’re alone and looking for love and all you seem to come across is rejection or inadequacy.
Love is an incredibly confusing and often frustrating beast and if you are to successfully tame it then first you need to exercise a little patience. You can’t run into the woods with your cock in your hand shouting “FEED ME” at the top of your lungs and expect a delicious slab of venison to lay down before you, lubricious and wanting…nor should you stalk in the shadows and pounce on your unsuspecting prey either; nobody likes a rapist.
Just relax, take a deep breath and focus on yourself for now. The right person will present themselves when the time is opportune, but first you have to pamper yourself and shape your life into something to be desired. Become the type of person that you’d want to fall in love with and the universe will handle the rest.